Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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