Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
