a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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