elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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