She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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