I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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