Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
