you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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