how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
