I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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