Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize