We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
