i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
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