he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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