I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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