A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize