He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
But break dance skills will only take you so far
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
The uberlube is also flammable
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
