dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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