Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
