names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
