someone get that fucking seahorse.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize