Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Randomize
