Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
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i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
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Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
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