see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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