He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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