i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Bring me that man meat
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
