a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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