Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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