dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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