Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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