Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
