My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize