You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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