We should be called the Road Head Warriors
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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