i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway