i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.