He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
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She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
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I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it