My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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