My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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