I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Randomize
