Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
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God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
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My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.