I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
