your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
