she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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