and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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