All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
