I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Barsexuality is the new black.
We got so high we made milksteak
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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