Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
