There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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