You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
