I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
