so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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