Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
