Small penises have feelings too.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i think i have two assholes
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
