she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I supernannyed him into submission
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
