she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
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All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
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Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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