Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
