I'm so fucking centered right now
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
