Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
