I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
