You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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