We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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